Worst Marketing Idea Ever, Part I

Some idiot in the Boston Red Sox marketing department forgot that for most of the past century, the Red Sox have been known for their exploring any and all avenues of losing games. Sure, they have beaten that twice already this millennium, but why would their official web site, of all places, be clamoring for a return to how things were from 1919 until 2003?

Hey. I've been a lifelong fan of your arch-nemesis. And I'm not afraid to speak for every Yankees fan when I say that if you guys want to restore order to the baseball universe, go for it. Here's a slow roller to your first baseman to win the Series for you.

Some Idiot started a weblog.

I have no idea what on earth made me want to even sign up for a weblog, let alone decide to start writing anything. I actually secured the name "ToothpasteAndOJ" a few months ago. Because I thought the name was funny and because I didn't want anybody else to have it.

So it sat. Taken yet unused. Then I moved to Boston and had no free time to even think about doing anything with it.

Then I moved out of some third-floor closet into an apartment that had it's own kitchen. And bathroom. And privacy. But no furniture. Also, all of my "I HAVE GOT TO GET THE FUNK OUT OF HERE" time was no longer being used.

So I was wandering around the laundromat, the only thing that brings me joy these days. And I saw this:

Just in case my phone's camera is too blurry, let me also post a picture of the same sticker from the manufacturer's documentation:

Okay, I'm a liar. It's not the exact same sticker. The important part is the exact same, though. "Use machine with water only." Did some assclown hook their industrial sized washing machine up to an orange juice dispenser? I'm trying to picture some well intentioned idiot plugging a bio-diesel nozzle into the back of the washer and wondering why his* clothes keep coming out dirtier than they went in. What else could you hook a washing machine up to?!

*Yes. This would have had to have been a guy.

PS: Don't even try and tell me that the "Do Not Attempt Entry" warning is funnier. Some people like spinning in a washing machine. We are not here to judge other people's hobbies.

Toothpaste and OJ: Three some idiots walk into a focus group

Some idiot thought, "Oh yeah, now you can take that Toothpaste and OJ taste with you wherever you go. No sink required!

Toothpaste and OJ: Some different idiot

Some idiot thought that having to wait thirty seconds before getting that nasty Toothpaste and OJ taste in your mouth was thirty seconds too long.

Toothpaste and OJ: Some idiot

Some idiot said, "You know that nasty taste you get when you drink OJ too soon after you brush your teeth? How about we eliminate the guesswork as to whether or not it's too soon.

Some other idiot said, "Hey, that's a great idea. We should offer this tasty product too!"